For The Love of Ice Cream

But I can’t.

It’s too wonderful.

It’s too beautiful.

It’s… It’s… Perfection in a cup (or cone… or on a stick… Heck, put it in an old mans boot for all I care!).

I think it’s fair to say I’m crazy about ice cream in all it’s frozen wonderfulness. So you shouldn’t be surprised when I say I was beyond excited to get some today. It was grocery shopping day today and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I literally had to drag myself away from the math homework I was doing because it seemed so wonderful when I weighed it with the task of grocery shopping. I can honestly say the ONLY thing that got me out the door was first that my husband agreed to go with me, and second, the fact that me and him have developed the “grocery shopping sucks so we will reward ourselves with ice cream when we do it” tradition.

I was so thrilled to stick the last needed item in the cart. We then proceeded to dart to the ice cream stand to pick out the usual: vanilla dipped in butterscotch for me, and vanilla/chocolate swirl dipped in chocolate for him.

Now just a quick side note. Due to the fact that we are regular costumers at the ice cream stand, we know exactly which employees give out the biggest bang for the buck. The goal is to arrive precisely at the right time so you get one of the golden employees. We are usually very good at this.

Unfortunately, today was not one of those days.

The boy who helped us, bless his poor soul, had NO idea what he was doing. I don’t think he even knew where he was to be honest with you. When we talked to him, he just looked ahead, and muttered nonsense back.

But, we had reached the point of no return and had to order from him because it would be rude to ask if we could be helped by someone else (you can bet we considered it though).

I ordered my vanilla butterscotch and this kid… Not even joking… Dunked it in the warm butterscotch mixture for a good 3 minutes. When he pulled it out, it didn’t even look like an ice cream cone anymore. It looked like a gooey ball of lost hopes and broken dreams.

“Um… It’s kinda thick and gooey” cone boy said.

“No freaking kidding…” I thought.

“Do you um want it in a cup?”

“Yeah… ” I muttered.

My husband’s cone didn’t turn out much better. Thankfully come boy only dipped his cone one time in the chocolate glaze, but my husband’s cone was three times smaller than mine… Even though we ordered the same size. But after the result of my cone, that didn’t surprise me.

It gets worse though. As my cone finally hardened 10 minutes later (which should have taken 2 seconds) I finally tried to eat it. You can only imagine my dismay as I picked up a 3 inch thick ball of butterscotch glaze with no ice cream in it.

What. The. Heck.

I was so tempted to run back into that store and hold up the butterscotch glob and exclaim, “Yo, cone boy!! Can I get some ICE CREAM with my butterscotch!?!?”

But I didn’t. Because we had already left and were 2 minutes from home. But that’s the only reason!!

One day I will get a laugh out of this… But right now the wound is still too fresh. But you can bet your bottom dolla that I will run for the hills next time I see cone boy at the ice cream stand. “No can do cone boy,” I’ll say “we’ll come back later.