confessions of a teenage bride

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I’m a Black Widow Baby

I have never been one to be that afraid of spiders. Granted, if one lands on me, or runs up my arm at 60 mph I am going to freak out and run into the bathroom screaming as I tear my clothes off and slap myself… but if I see a spider walking on the sidewalk, or across my carpet, or on my wall, or even in a web in the corner of my house I am not going to flip out. I’ll just squish it. Problem solved.

However, there is one exception to this rule.
Black Widows.
I am a pretty loving person and I wouldn’t say I am a hater… but black widows… I really do hate them. What part of a sleek black, huge, and round spider body with a blood red hour glass is there to love? Especially because the monster is 10 times more poisonous than a rattle snake.
I mean lets get real here. This thing is no bigger than my thumb nail and it could kill me with one bite.
How can you love that??
I don’t know why I felt the need to justify my hate of a black widow… but there ya go.
So…
About a month ago I noticed these small cream colored spiderlings all over my house. Seriously they were everywhere. I found them in all the corners of our house, in the kitchen in the living room, in the family room, in the hall way… you name it. I started squishing them when I saw them, but there were always more that took the place of those I killed. I took a closer look at these baby spiders and noticed that they looked just like black widows but were obviously the wrong color. But their lakes and hour glass bodies were IDENTICAL to a black widow.
 I looked up online what a baby black widow looked like and much to my dismay they looked JUST like the baby spiders I had been finding in my house.
“I think our house is full of baby black widows” I told my husband.
My hubby is seriously the strongest, manliest man I know… There really isn’t a more manly person alive…but when it comes to spiders he definitely is the bigger baby of us two! So you can imagine how unhappy he was knowing his home–his safe haven–could potentially be overrun with one of the most poisonous spiders in the United States.
After researching a bit more I learned that baby and adolescent black widows are harmless (HALLELUJAH!). But babies can grow into adult black widows pretty fast and those are NOT harmless so I needed to find out what type of spider this was before all these babies started growing up then invading my home and bringing their potential poison with them.
I decided the next step we should take is to go outside at night. Black widows are nocturnal so we could examine all the webs outside and see if we could spot black widows in them.
A couple nights later, after we purchased some spider spray, we went outside with a flashlight to check the webs. The outside of our home was COVERED in webs. Every place a spider could make a web… they did. I don’t think I have ever seen so many webs in my life. Every window-infested. Every corner-infested. Every cubby hole-infested.
And that wasn’t even the bad part.
EVERY SINGLE WEB we came upon had a black widow sitting smack dab in the middle of it.
Whoever said “It could be worse” obviously didn’t know about my spider situation… BECAUSE THIS COULD NOT GET WORSE!!
I counted 50 spiders before I stopped counting. Oh and guess what else we found smack dab in the middle of a web? An egg sac. Which to our eternal gratitude had started to hatch right as we discovered it so we were able to save ourselves from potentially hundreds of more spiders.
 By the time we finished spraying the outside of the house and moved to the garage I was officially the worlds most jumpy, itchy, arachnophobic. I truly thought I was at my lowest point…Then we entered the garage. We found BIG black widows in every corner, every window sill was covered in babies… I turned around to walk towards our storage room when I discovered babies dropping from the garage ceiling from webs ONTO ME. I started screaming while simultaneously slapping myself  all over as I ran into the house.

“They cannot hurt me… they are babies…” I repeated to myself as I rocked in fetal position on the floor.

“I think you are safe, if they were on you, you probably killed them” I heard my husband tell me as he walked from the garage, into the house, and towards me. I was too scared to find it ironic that he was comforting me about spiders considering in the past I was the one comforting.

“THEY WERE DROPPING FROM THE CEILING!!” I exclaimed. “THEY WERE DROPPING DOWN FROM THE FREAKING CEILING!!” I still was in shock from what I had just seen. Really I spent the rest of the night in shock, feeling like I was covered in babies still. We decided to spray ASAP and we reassured each other that it would be okay and we would take care of our small pretty big huge GINORMOUS black widow problem.

*Sigh* SAVE ME FROM MY HOUSE.

2 Weeks Later:

I am happy to report that our home has been sprayed. YAY. Now all the black widows we do find are outside, and dead. THANK THE HEAVENS. Since we sprayed I have not found 1 bug/spider alive in my home. I think I officially am going to spray ever year because I feel 100 times safer in my own home than I did before.

Does anyone else find it funny that us humans who are like a billion times bigger than spiders feel SO MUCH better when we prevent spiders from entering our homes? I think we should be called “the biggest babies ever” instead of humans because honestly it is pathetic that huge/spiders are so scary!! I do have to give them props to being so creepy though, just don’t be creeping at my house widows! #IWillPass

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Comments

  1. OH. MY. WORD. I would diiiiiiie!!!! I thought we had it bad with non-poisonous Woodlouse Hunters in every corner of our house, but Black Widows are BY FAR muuuuuuuch worse. I can relate to the shock part though! We found a WLH on my pillow one night a few weeks ago and I was so scared that I sobbed until I passed out from exhaustion. I didn't remember much more than seeing the spider and screaming, and my husband thought it was funny but sad. I HAAAAATE SPIDERS.

  2. Hahahaha, I just realized that our Woodlouse Hunters are most likely the "Red Chested Grey Butted Night Crawler" from your "Infestation" post. I think you should be chosen to officially rename those creeps. 😀

  4. We recently discovered a black widow infestation at our house as well, so I know exactly what you're going through. Unfortunately for us, I didn't recognize baby black widows when I first saw them and assumed they were harmless garden spiders or baby daddy long legged spiders. Now we have black widows everywhere and are calling an exterminator.

    Don't worry about them killing you though. Unless you have a comprised immune system, the bite of a black widow is rarely fatal. It can make you extremely sick though: seizures, fever, muscle spasms, etc. Many bite victims mistakenly believe they are having a heart attack. Nasty stuff.

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