My worse nightmare has come true. And to make matters worse, I did not even know it was my worse nightmare until it happened. In fact, I did not even know it could happen until it did.
“It” being the most unexpected, traumatizing, creepy, and life altering event in my life.
Literally.
There I was, it was just like any other morning. I had awoken with bad breath and a full bladder. I rolled out of bed to fix both of these problems. Due to the fact that I had, had 5 glasses of water right before bed, my blatter couldn’t wait for me to brush my teeth. Thus, it took precedence as the #1 item on my to do list. Little did I know that if I had just held it a little longer… If I had just brushed my teeth first… Maybe, just maybe I could have spared myself from the nightmare that was about to ensue.
But it was too late.
I walked to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and proceeded to empty my “pouch” if you know what I mean.
I had been sitting there for just a couple seconds when I felt a thump on my… Er… Upper private area. I looked down to see A HUGE PENNY SIZED BLACK HAIRY FREAKING SPIDER running around on my completely nude lower region.
I jumped up and started screaming bloody murder. By some miracle the devils minion fell from my body… Right into the toliet bowl.
Oh.
My.
Gosh.
“That did not just happen,” I muttered to myself.
But, no.
There he sat.
Looking up at me with 6 beady little eyes. As if he was telling me, “yes little girl, it did. It did happen. Bwahahaha”
Panting, with a racing heartbeat, I flushed the toliet and watched that evil, little 8 legged, horror spiral down into the earth below.
May he never return.
And…
May he NOT rest in peace.
I am not the same person I was before the “incident.” How could I be? Every single tingle on my body… Every single time I need to make a stop of the restroom… Every single other thought… I remember.
The girl who once could smash spiders with her bare hand, no longer exists.
I accept defeat.
Congratulations Mr. Spider, you have broken me.
Say hello to your newest (and possibly worse-cased) aracnaphobic.
OH.MY.WORD. I would absolutely die. You poor thing…!!!!!!!!
Haha I did die, it was horrible. It better not ever happen again!!
ewww scary!!! sorry that happened to you!
-Natalie
remedyinrhapsody.blogspot.com
I am sorry too! I would not wish it on anyone!!
Hilarious. Thank you.
Glad it made you chuckle 🙂
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